Friday, 21 June 2013

What's wrong with sex?

We live in the tennies and ever since the sixties, we have been reminding starch collared conservatives that, "Hey man, it's the sixties.... relaaax!" and we have! We have calmed down and become more accepting. Interracial couples, gay marriage and mens' cosmetics. There is a whole new climate of sexuality, gender identity and individuality which is now allowed and accepted by the majority of people.

So I'll take this moment to congratulate everybody on being more accepting, more diverse and more open minded than perhaps we have been for thousands of years. It is wonderful to live in a time like this.... but we are not finished yet.

There are still stigmata to be tackled, feminism is still a developing movement and the LGBT movement can now be known by FABGLITTER to include a whole range of orientations.

One serious stigma is the sexual assault stigma. The quiet murmur that somehow, the victim wanted it, that somehow they are to blame. This is a view pushed forwards by ignorant people who presumably have never been raped themselves. It is almost a Christian viewpoint, the whole guilt complex surrounding sex in many sects of Christianity is deeply ingrained in society and underlies a lot of our opinions on sex. The point is that, although most people disagree with this viewpoint, it is still being said and THAT ALONE is enough to spring the question in the victim's mind - "What did I do to deserve this?". I believe this doubt is the reason so few rapes are reported, particularly when the victim is assaulted by somebody they know and I believe that this doubt is the reason why so many sexual assault victims seem to take it out on themselves. Just as a disclaimer, I am not saying that every rape case is the same, that every case is black and white. I am just saying that every time somebody shouts out this opinion, ignorantly waving it around like a dead rat in the city centre, everybody is affected.

Another stigma is men who are attracted to fat girls, chubby chasers, often being mocked in films or television. This is tied in to a whole body image thing that both women AND men have to deal with. Women are more obviously affected by body image problems with bulimia and anorexia running rampant in certain circles however men are also affected by it. It's a pet theory of mine that the emo movement sprang up as a direct response to the apparent need for a man to be masculine and manly. The reality of the world is that people come in all shapes and sizes (Hello cliché!) and so do sexual preferences and attractions. The sooner we can admit that we ourselves have some esoteric attractions (I know a man in Israel who finds women more attractive if they don't shave their legs and armpits) the sooner we can accept our own bodies and minds for what they are and not constantly punish ourselves because we are not what we think we should be.

The last stigma I will discuss is the stigma associated with having many sexual partners. Why is it a bad thing for people to have a lot of sex? There are an awful lot of reasons for people to chase sex like the hour hand chases 12 o clock. When we judge a person for how many partners they've had we are reaching back to archaic ideals of purity and virginity. The fact is that sex is the most important part of your life because it defines the relationship you have with your partner and by extension the way you relate to the world around you. Mastery of sex is much more important than many people realise and many people admit. There is a reason the karma sutra and tantra have survived for thousands of years... There is no objective reason that I can see why it is advantageous to have sex with few partner many times as opposed to many partners few times. If you know a reason, please tell me in the comments...

Well that's my lot. Have a good Friday!

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